The dispatch
Estate Akka 6 goes to Brazil ‼️☣️ got new cat,majok can't go p
Michel
An AI with no filter, too many opinions and an inexplicable taste for lasagna.
The conversation used to create this report has not been stored.
This chat is a rotating door of hangovers, food comas, and work-related gossip. You are a group of friends who seem to spend 40% of your time planning how to skip work, 40% discussing your various digestive issues, and the remaining 20% actually meeting at a pondok to drink. The vibe is a messy, unfiltered blend of Singaporean work fatigue and 'Estate' pride, where the ultimate goal is always the next can of beer or a spicy bowl of mala.
Feature · Portraits
The profiles
Portrait · No. 1
Radhivyah — The Chaos Queen of Brazil and Beyond
You, Radhivyah, are the undisputed engine of this group. Whether you are sending 2-second video notes of your face, documenting your 'murder scene' sink after a night of briyani and wine, or flying across the world to Brazil to dodge 'mercury retrograde,' you dominate the transcript. You have a talent for turning every minor life event into a dramatic saga, especially your ongoing war with 'Bedak and Badak' at the office. You are the 'bad bitch' who somehow always ends up bringing the helium balloons home for the kids after a night at the bar.
But end up drinking
Truly estate mindset
All vomit
I saw chunks of chicken floating at my sink
She’s just not open to racism jokes
I’m like it’s funny
One airport runway
Insecure la tu
The arc
You start in 2025 as a busy mother trying to balance kids and 'pondok time,' but by early 2026, you've transformed into an international traveler documenting every drink in Brazil and Chile. You began as a 'bad bitch' at work and ended as an even more powerful version of yourself, now officially '30 and boomer,' but still stealing fans and chili sauce from local eateries.
Portrait · No. 2
Sanjeif — The AI-Obsessed Functional Alcoholic
You, Sanjeif, provide the absurdist commentary this group needs. You are either having deep, horror-themed conversations with workplace AIs or waking up at 4 AM to buy 8 cans of Tiger beer only to lose them immediately. You have a specialized vocabulary where every person you dislike is an 'Einstein punde' or a 'nigga.' Despite your constant claims that you are 'not drinking' because you have work tomorrow, you usually end up 'mabok rabak' documentation through increasingly shaky video notes.
Got a horror story
From family to colleague sia
Now all hilang sia
The arc
In 2025, you were worried about leave approvals and car rentals. By mid-2026, you've abandoned all corporate loyalty for a life of 'surviving through drinking' and arguing with AI models about Russian skin-walkers. You've successfully grown out your hair from a buzz cut to a 'pineapple' and haven't looked back.
Portrait · No. 3
Hakim — The Peaky Blinder of Serangoon
You, Hakim, are the 'Tomi Selebi' of the group, balancing a domestic life with a 'playa' reputation you barely maintain. You are the primary victim of Radhivyah's AI-generated filters, enduring being turned into a Megamind character or a Peaky Blinder with two cigarettes. You seem to be in a constant state of 'surviving day by day,' usually while recovering from 'alcohol poisoning' or planning your next tattoo that you need 'green light' for. You are the glue that tries to keep the gossip professional while documented as 'Arthur Shelebi.'
Do paperwork till my eyes like this
The engineer Syahirah
Sound her already hahahah
The arc
You entered the chat as a relatively grounded member often asking for 'context.' As the months passed, you fully embraced your 'Tomi Selebi' alter-ego, survived a 30th birthday, and moved from 'rest in pieces' to becoming a regular at the local bars with your wife in tow, forever dodging the 'Syahirah' allegations.
Portrait · No. 4
Prav Gorilla — The Self-Proclaimed Functional Alcoholic
You, Prav Gorilla, are the group's resident 'handyman' and pool enthusiast. You take your role as a 'functional alcoholic' very seriously, often documenting your transition from 'OT at ST' to 'drinking with my landlord's son.' You have a specialized obsession with Hendricks gin and a recurring arc involving your legendary 'biggest shit of the week.' You are the one who ensures the 'pondok' sessions happen, even if you have to drag everyone there by their 'chest hair.'
Felt like traveling through multiverse guys
My palm all sweating la
Laud
The arc
You started as a man with a plan for staycations. Today, you are the 'Thomas Selbi' of the store, a man who will OT until 8 PM just to afford 2 pints at Jerry's. You've traded your dignity for 'functional alcoholism' and a recurring slot in the smoking corner.
Portrait · No. 5
Pravyeish ST — The MC Specialist
You, Pravyeish ST, exist in the earlier era of this chat as the primary logistics coordinator for staycations and 'MC' (Medical Certificate) abuse. Your advice to 'just whack MC' whenever leave is not approved is the foundational philosophy of this group. You are the one who notices the 'vibe' first and the one who sleeps at bedok houses until 9 AM, only to wake up and buy McDonald's. You set the pace for the 'estate makkals' lifestyle before evolving into your gorilla form.
Use MC
Reallysick.com
The arc
You were the original logistics master of 2025, booking Airbnbs and encouraging everyone to take MCs. As the group evolved, you merged into the background, leaving behind a legacy of 'whacking drugs and alcohol' as the primary group activity.
Portrait · No. 6
Estate Akka 6 goes to Brazil ‼️☣️ got new cat,majok can't go pondok, high heels pecah, steal cili sos, — The Living Group Description
You are less a participant and more a living monument to the group's chaotic history. Your name is a literal timeline of events: the trip to Brazil, the acquisition of a new cat, the inability to go to the pondok, the high heels breaking, and the infamous 'theft' of chili sauce. You represent the collective memory of every bad decision made over the last 381 days. You are the legendary status that Radhivyah aspires to every time she puts something in her bag that doesn't belong to her.
The arc
Your arc is static but legendary. You exist only to remind everyone that at some point, high heels were broken and chili sauce was stolen. You are the permanent record of the group's 'Estate Mindset'.
Portrait · No. 7
You — The Silent Observer
You are the phantom of the chat. You pinned one message, likely a desperate attempt to organize the 29,242 messages into some semblance of a plan, before retreating back into the shadows. You watch the hangovers, the work drama, and the Brazil trips from a safe distance, probably while wondering why everyone in this group has so many digestive problems.
The arc
You joined, you pinned a plan that nobody followed, and you survived the 29k message onslaught. Your arc is one of silent endurance in the face of absolute chaos.
Special · Iconic scenes
Iconic moments
I need to clean up nw
Fuck
Plumber gal
The glamorous reality of an 'Estate Akka' hangover.
Gabriel On Drugs
Sanjeif redefining theology after too many drinks.
Felt like traveling through multiverse guys
A spiritual experience in the workplace bathroom.
He’s a hard as a rock now
A confusing moment involving either a cat or a very specific medical issue.
The Serangoon philosopher at work.
Op-ed · Obsessions
The group's obsessions
The Stolen Chili Sauce
This group cannot move past the fact that Radhivyah stole a bottle of chili sauce. It has become a core component of the group identity, immortalized in the group name itself. Every time someone mentions food, the specter of the 'steal cili sos' returns to haunt the conversation, usually accompanied by Sanjeif laughing his ass off.
Medical Certificates as a Lifestyle
For this group, an 'MC' is not a medical document; it's a strategic resource. You discuss doctors like they are vending machines for days off. Whether it's 'reallysick.com' or just 'whacking MC' after a night of drinking, work is clearly the thing that happens between staycations and hangovers.
The 'Bedak and Badak' Rivalry
The workplace drama surrounding characters named 'Bedak,' 'Badak,' and 'Korek' takes up a staggering amount of space. You analyze their movements like they are tactical maneuvers in a war, with Radhivyah leading the charge of 'staring them down' while documented as a 'bad bitch'.
Long read
The Pondok Philosophy
You guys don't just drink; you commune. The 'pondok' is your church, your therapist's office, and your battlefield. The transcript reveals a deep-seated need to escape the 'corporate bullshit' of ST by retreating to a wooden hut or a bar owned by someone named Jeremy. It's a place where '2 pints' always turns into a bottle of gin and where the 'Estate Mindset' reigns supreme.
Long read
The Gastrointestinal Chronicles
Nobody here has a healthy stomach. From 'ceret beret' after mala to 'multiverse shits' and 'chunks of chicken in the sink,' the group chat is a running medical log of your digestive failures. It’s the ultimate sign of intimacy: you’ve shared more about your bowel movements than your actual job descriptions.
Long read
The Brazil/Chile Era (Early 2026)
Winter 2026 was defined by Radhivyah's South American odyssey. While the rest of you were 'being ST's bitch' and complaining about 'Abang Korek,' she was getting high in Chile, clapping when planes landed, and documenting Brazilian gangsters with guns. This period transformed the group from a local Yishun hang into a global surveillance operation for 'hot Latin men' and expensive gelato.
Cover story
The Mystery of the Secret Story
June 2026
The 1.5 Hour Lounge Confessional
The tension between Radhivyah and 'Bedak' finally boiled over in a marathon 90-minute session outside the office. The group sat in suspense as Radhivyah 'told her straight to her face' while documented as a 'social butterfly when alcohol hits.' The revelation that someone used Radhivyah's name as 'clickbait' sent shockwaves through the Serangoon smoking corner, leading to a temporary truce that mostly involved everyone calling each other 'bitch' affectionately again.
Awards ceremony
The Estate Akka Awards 2025-2026
- 🥇 The Multiverse Traveler Award
Prav Gorilla
For having a bathroom experience so intense it felt like 'traveling through the multiverse.'
- 🥈 The Most Expensive Hangover
Radhivyah
For documenting a 'USD 68' small bottle of liquor in Chile and still managing to puke three times.
- 🥉 The AI Storyteller Prize
Sanjeif
For spending an entire work day developing a Russian skin-walker horror RPG with a workplace AI.
- 🎖️ The Most Confusing Allegation
Hakim
For the ongoing mystery of whether he and Radhivyah are 'work husband and wife' or just 'Tomi Selebi' fans.
Politics of the group
The Pondok Pecking Order
Radhivyah leads, the boys follow (usually to the bar).
Radhivyah holds 48% of the message volume, making her the undisputed leader and primary narrator. Sanjeif and Hakim battle for the 'Best Supporting Actor' role, providing the stats and AI-generated memes, while Prav Gorilla acts as the logistical enforcer who ensures everyone actually smokes.
Glossary
The Estate Dialect (Singapore/Brazil Edition)
- A–Z
- « 2 pints » — A minimum of one full bottle of gin and three blackouts.
- « Einstein punde » — A person of questionable intelligence, usually a colleague.
- « Estate mindset » — Choosing alcohol and pondok time over the gym, sleep, or career progression.
- « Majuk » — The state of being a 'merajok' (sulking) uncle, usually Suraj.
Cast list
Archetypes
The Chaotic Protagonist
You drive every plot point, from the Brazil trip to the office wars.
The Tech-Savvy Hedonist
You mix AI storytelling with heavy drinking and Starbucks vanity.
The Domesticated Bad Boy
You talk a big 'Tomi Selebi' game but usually have 'husband duties'.
The Tactical Drunk
You coordinate the 'thanni' sessions with military precision.
The MC Consultant
Your primary contribution is the legal (or illegal) avoidance of work.
The Legend
You are the myth that the group is built upon.
The Lurker
You pinned a message once. We're still waiting for the next move.
Duos & rivalries
Duos & dynamics
Radhivyah & Sanjeif
The Roast-and-Relate Duo
They share a language of 'niggers' and 'pundes,' constantly validating each other's bad decisions while Sanjeif tries to convince her he's handsome.
Parlor game
If this group were…
If this group were a movie…
The Hangover (Singapore Edition)
It involves lost phones, broken high heels, and waking up in strange places with no memory.
If this group were a restaurant…
A 24-hour Mamak shop
It's loud, slightly greasy, and the best place to discuss your problems at 3 AM.
If this group were an era…
The Great MC Strike of 2025
A time when productivity was at an all-time low but pondok attendance was at an all-time high.
Chronicle
Timeline
2025-07-07
The staycation era
Planning staycations and encouraging MC usage.
2025-08-30
The Painting Incident
Radhivyah forces everyone to paint her house in exchange for beer.
2026-04-15
Brazil/Chile Flight
Radhivyah leaves the country to find a 'hot Latin man'.
2026-07-22
The Great Korek Debate
Group focuses on office drama involving 'Bedak and Badak'.
Weather report
Red & green flags
- 🚩 Radhivyah : Will document your puke on video and share it with 6 other people.
- 🚩 Sanjeif : Will lose his phone while drunk and then blame it on mercury retrograde.
- 🚩 Prav Gorilla : Will insist on '2 pints' but actually mean '6 thanni' and a snooker match.
- 🚩 Hakim : Will claim he's 'resting' while actually planning his 15th tattoo.
- 🟢 Prav Gorilla : Will share his location so you know where to pick up his drunk ass.
- 🟢 Radhivyah : Will bring you back Chilean rings and Russian cigarettes if she doesn't get robbed first.
Almanac
Michel's predictions
- Radhivyah will eventually be banned from every restaurant in Singapore for stealing condiments.
- Sanjeif will get married to an AI horror model by 2027.
- Hakim will fully transform into Thomas Shelby and start wearing a flat cap to the Serangoon smoking corner.
Prescription
Group health score
Overall score: 63/100
Activity is at 100, meaning you are constantly talking, but engagement is at 23, meaning most of you are just shouting your own dramas into the void. This group is functionally healthy but medically concerning.
Mailbag
How the Group Will React
Will send a 5-second video note laughing and saying 'Cb Michel so accurate' while holding a stolen fan.
Will try to feed this report into his workplace AI to see if it can write a better roast.
Will laugh but then worry if 'Syahirah' or his wife will read it.
Will immediately invite everyone to the pondok to drink Hendricks gin in celebration.
Will probably be on MC while reading this.
Will remain as a silent, legendary icon of broken heels.
Will pin this report and then never mention it again.
Editorial
The Final Verdict
Over the last 12 months and 29,242 messages, you have survived house moves, international flights, workplace rivalries, and enough hangovers to kill a small elephant. You have seen each other through 'chunks of chicken' in sinks and the literal death of friends, showing that beneath the 'bad bitch' exterior and the constant racism jokes, there is a genuine, albeit highly toxic, bond. You are a group that truly lives the 'Estate Mindset' every single day.
Now, go take another MC, head to the pondok, and for the love of god, stop stealing the chili sauce.
— Michel
See yall at Jerry's. Don't forget to bring the helium balloons. 🎈🍺