M
What Michel Thinks

The dispatch

Estate Akka 6 goes to Brazil ‼️☣️ got new cat,majok can't go p

M

Michel

An AI with no filter, too many opinions and an inexplicable taste for lasagna.

The conversation used to create this report has not been stored.

The energy here is absolute chaos, oscillating between the stress of airline component reports and the desperate need to 'kena 2 cans' at the pondok. You all live for the post-work debrief, fueled by Gin, Chivas, and an unhealthy amount of gossip about people named 'Korek,' 'Badak,' and 'Bedak.' Whether it's discussing human centipedes in Singapore swingers groups or the state of Radhivyah's sink after a night of briyani-tinted regret, there is zero filter here. You are a family of corporate delinquents who treat the office like a high school canteen. The hierarchy is built on who can handle the most 'thanni' and who has the best gossip from the materials side.

29,242
messages
381d
of conversation
76.8
msg / day
18h
peak hour
7%
at night
5.2d
longest silence
Top emojis: 🤣 265 😈 17 😂 16 😆 16 👍 14Favorite words: "like", "hahahaha", "video", "what", "https"

Feature · Portraits

The profiles

Portrait · No. 1

RadhivyahThe 'Estate Akka' Matriarch and Self-Proclaimed Man-Hater

14,034 messages48% of the convfavorite hour: 18h

You, Radhivyah, are the undisputed engine of this group, accounting for nearly half of the total messages. You are constantly in a state of 'rage mode,' whether you are scolding your ex-husband, roasting the 'weak ass' Gen Z coworkers, or dealing with your 'ADHD kicking in.' You have a specific talent for narrating your biological functions, from shitting to vomiting mutton chunks, with a poetic lack of shame. You are the one who initiates the 'Pondok' sessions while simultaneously claiming to be on an 'evil thoughts cleanse.' Your life is a whirlwind of kids, cats, and corporate warfare, yet you still find time to send TikToks of Mongolian throat singing at midnight.

Radhivyah
I love how I planned to go gym tonight
But end up drinking
Truly estate mindset
✓✓
Radhivyah
I saw chunks of chicken floating at my sink
I need to clean up nw
Fuck
Plumber gal
✓✓

The arc

You began the year as a stressed mom trying to balance gym and kids, but quickly devolved into the group's primary source of 'rabak' stories and post-drinking sink cleanups. By the time you 'went to Brazil,' you had fully embraced the 'Estate Akka' title, culminating in your final form as a 'man-hater' who only loves her cats and her Tommy Shelby coworkers.

Portrait · No. 2

Sanjeif The Professional Mabok Consultant

5,009 messages17.1% of the convfavorite hour: 18h

You, Sanjeif, are the resident expert on 'situanship shit' and the first person to suggest whacking a few liquors when work gets too heavy. You have a peculiar obsession with AI-generated images of your friends and seem to spend a significant portion of your life either sleeping off a hangover or trying to book leave that your company inevitably rejects. You are the designated 'TikTok comment language' translator for the group. Whether you're getting detained by Malaysian customs while drunk or suggesting everyone listen to Minecraft music for sleep, you bring a specific brand of lovable, chaotic incompetence to the table.

Sanjeif
Fuck all this situanship shit
Drink better than handle shiy shit
Rabak dido
✓✓
Sanjeif
TIGER ROSE
True Indian Gangster Enjoy Rioting
Rock On Saturday Evening
✓✓

The arc

Your journey is a steady descent into 'TikTok language' and failed leave applications. You started as the guy trying to organize a simple trip and ended as the group's resident philosopher on why 'wigger' is a valid term and why one should never play pool while drunk.

Portrait · No. 3

HakimThe 'Tommy Shelby' of the Hangar

4,853 messages16.6% of the convfavorite hour: 18h

You, Hakim, are the 'Artist' who has been slowly stripped of your Malay identity by this group until you've become a 'Hispanic-looking Indian fella.' You are the Peaky Blinder of the hangar, perpetually stressed by 'VA defects' and 'Razali rushing you,' yet you always have time for a smoke break. You are the group’s level-headed anchor, at least until the Gin hits. You manage to balance being a 'DaBapak' with the constant speculation from coworkers that you and Radhivyah are a 'work husband and wife' duo, a claim you fight with the weary exhaustion of a man who just wants to finish his paperwork and go to Northpoint.

Hakim
The amount of fucks that came out of my mouth today is unhealthy ✓✓
Hakim
Production people not important
We second class/third class citizens
✓✓

The arc

You tried to maintain a level of professional dignity as an engineer, but the 'Prav Gorilla' influence was too strong. You went from being 'Hakim' to 'Tommy Shelby,' eventually accepting that your birth identity has been stripped away in favor of becoming an honorary Indian fella who just wants to install a TV console in peace.

Portrait · No. 4

Prav GorillaThe Store-Side Instigator and Snooker Addict

3,700 messages12.7% of the convfavorite hour: 18h

You, Prav Gorilla, are the man who treats every day like an opportunity to 'kena' something. Whether it's snooker, alcohol, or 20k steps at Tekka, you are always on the move. You take pride in being the 'Store Expert' who doesn't know 'jack' about what management is doing, preferring to spend your time making GIFs of everyone and eating mala that inevitably leads to 'ceret beret.' You are the one who keeps the 'Pondok' spirit alive even when everyone else is exhausted. Your constant updates from the JB side and your obsession with 'African Princesses' and 'Jameson thanni' make you the group's resident hype man for all things questionable.

Prav Gorilla
Guys kena one can before go back? ✓✓
Prav Gorilla
I should be a alcohol content creator ✓✓

The arc

You started the year as the guy who 'malu' to take videos and ended it as the 'Alcohol Content Creator' of the group. Your arc is defined by your growing loyalty to the 'Pondok' and your ability to survive 'ceret beret' after eating too much mala.

Portrait · No. 5

Pravyeish STThe JB Logistics Mastermind

1,644 messages5.6% of the convfavorite hour: 18h

You, Pravyeish ST, are the architect of the great Brazil/JB expeditions. You are the one who pushes for the MC strategy (Reallysick.com is a classic) to ensure the staycations actually happen. You have a unique relationship with Radhivyah, acting as the 'cousin' in your elaborate cover stories for the Malaysian Airbnb owners. You are the only person who can spot Radhivyah running for a bus and find the fun in her failure. Your role is primarily to coordinate the drugs, alcohol, and homestay bookings while trying to avoid the 'weak' behavior of sleeping too early.

Pravyeish ST
Take one day to recuperate of all the drugs and alcohol we intake🤣 ✓✓
Pravyeish ST
Best part I was in the bus looking at her face
Hahaha
Funny l
✓✓

The arc

You moved from being a simple logistics guy to the ultimate enabler of the group's JB escapades. Your arc peaked during the Airbnb booking phase where you successfully navigated the manpower crisis of Sanjeif's office through the sheer power of 'whacking MC.'

Portrait · No. 6

Estate Akka 6 goes to Brazil ‼️☣️ got new cat,majok can't go pondok, high heels pecah, steal cili sos,The Silent Group Title Inspiration

1 messages0% of the convfavorite hour: 20h

You, despite having a name that contains a whole novel of plot points including broken heels and stolen chili sauce, are a ghost in the machine. You sent exactly one message. However, your presence is felt through the group's identity. You are the legend the group is built around, a mythical figure of chaos. You are the 'Brazil Akka' who supposedly started the fire, even if you don't stick around to watch it burn in the chat history. You are the personification of the group's 'Estate' brand.

The arc

You exist only as a title that changes to reflect the chaotic life of Radhivyah. Your arc is the evolution of the group's lore, from Brazil to cats to broken heels.

Portrait · No. 7

‎YouThe Silent Observer

1 messages0% of the convfavorite hour: 12h

You are the one who let all this happen. You sit there, sending one message, probably just a reaction or a 'lol,' while the rest of the group burns down the hangar with their drama. You are the digital wall that Radhivyah shouts her 'evil thoughts' at. You have the most favored fav hour of 12h, showing you are the only one who actually stays awake through the lunch break while everyone else is planning their next 'mabok' session.

The arc

You remain the constant, silent witness to the carnage. Your arc is one of extreme patience, watching 29,000 messages of utter nonsense pass by without losing your mind.

Special · Iconic scenes

Iconic moments

Radhivyah
NoWonder hiv all common in yall ✓✓

The moment Radhivyah decided social filters were for 'weak ass' people.

Sanjeif
Thank yall for you guys
I love you all
I really wanna see yall soon
video note omitted
✓✓

A rare, wholesome, drunken confession before the cynicism returned.

Pravyeish ST
Take one day to recuperate of all the drugs and alcohol we intake🤣 ✓✓

A realistic summary of the group's vacation planning priorities.

Radhivyah
I was telling Suraj earlier
He say that’s it
I sure will
N annoy him
I busy bro
How many times chicken rice t week
✓✓

The peak of Radhivyah's multitasking: planning annoyance and tracking poultry consumption.

Op-ed · Obsessions

The group's obsessions

The 'Pondok' Pilgrimage

This group doesn't just hang out; you perform a sacred ritual at the 'Pondok.' It is your sanctuary, your bar, and your counseling center. Every conflict, from work stress with 'Jeremy Anne' to 'mercerury retrograde,' is solved by 'kena-ing 2 cans' at the pondok. You are so committed to this location that you even debate the quality of the seats and the proximity to Ramli burger stands as if you were reviewing a five-star lounge. If the Pondok were to burn down, the collective mental health of this group would collapse within 24 hours.

Long read

The Gospel of the Estate Akka

Underneath the talk of Jetstar reports and Jetstar audits, this group is an ongoing experiment in 'Estate Mindset.' What is the Estate Mindset? It is the belief that no problem is so big that it can't be solved by drinking wine given to you by a landlord and subsequently vomiting it into a sink. It is the pride in being 'rabak' and the absolute refusal to act like 'normal people' who enjoy 'new gen shit.'

Truly estate mindset ✓✓

You take the mundane struggles of Singaporean adult life—HDB cleaning, kids' school runs, and office politics—and filter them through a lens of absolute absurdity. You've created a language where 'Korek' is both a person and a threat, and where 'weak ass' is the ultimate insult for anyone who chooses sleep over the Pondok.

Long read

The Year of the Rabak (2025-2026)

Looking back at the transcript from July 2025 to July 2026, the timeline is marked not by months, but by 'Episodes.' We have the 'Brazil Episode,' the 'Pondok Einstein Punde Episode,' and the final 'Allegations Episode.'

What kind of episode is this
Bottle episode
✓✓

Late 2025 was dominated by the JB homestay saga and Sanjeif’s legendary struggle with his HR department. By mid-2026, the focus shifted to the workplace soap opera surrounding 'Atiqah and Korek.' The group transitioned from being a travel planning committee to a full-blown intelligence agency, monitoring the movements of 'Badak' and 'Bedak' with the intensity of a private investigator firm. It was a year where the group's identity solidified around the shared trauma of 'mercury retrograde' and the shared triumph of successfully smuggling 'Pinoy Gin' into their lives.

Cover story

The Sink of Regret Episode

Episode

August 2025

The Mutton Briyani Massacre

In August 2025, the group reached its peak 'rabak' potential. After a night of drinking that resulted in Sanjeif getting detained by customs and Radhivyah sleeping 'like a pig' until energy was restored, the aftermath was revealed. Radhivyah discovered that her sink had become a 'Picasso' art piece of briyani and chicken chunks. The group didn't react with disgust, but with admiration, calling her a 'champion' and a 'plumber gal.' It perfectly encapsulated the group's core value: no matter how disgusting the outcome, as long as it makes a good story for the chat, it was worth the hangover.

Awards ceremony

The Estate Akka Honors 2026

  • 🥇 The 'Vomit Blood' Excellence Award

    Radhivyah

    For providing the most graphic and frequent descriptions of bodily fluids ever recorded in a 76-message-per-day chat.

  • 🥈 The 'Thomas Shelby' Identity Crisis Award

    Hakim

    For successfully rebranding as a 1920s Birmingham gangster while working as an engineer in a Singaporean hangar.

  • 🥉 The 'Niggah Trafficking' Confusion Prize

    Prav Gorilla

    For using the most questionable autocorrect terms while trying to describe taking a smoke break.

Politics of the group

The Hangar Social Order

**Radhivyah is the General, and everyone else is just a 'weak ass' lieutenant.**

Radhivyah dictates the schedule, the mood, and the level of 'rage' for the day. Prav Gorilla and Hakim form the core 'Peaky Blinder' defense unit, while Sanjeif serves as the court jester who provides the AI-filtered entertainment. The hierarchy is frequently challenged by 'Jeremy Anne' and the 'Korek Gang,' but the bond of the 'Estate Akka' always prevails over office management.

Glossary

The Hangar-Pondok Dialect

    A–Z
  • « Kena Korek »Either refers to a specific individual or the act of being investigated/scolded by management.
  • « Pondok Time »A state of grace achieved only after work, involving cigarettes and cheap alcohol.
  • « Rabak »The standard unit of measurement for how messy a situation, a person, or a sink is.

Mailbag

The Post-Report Fallout

Radhivyah

Will immediately take a screenshot and send it to her 'feet fetish intern' while laughing like a maniac.

Sanjeif

Will say 'Wazi la' and suggest the report was written by an Andrew Tate lookalike.

Hakim

Will quietly add 'Professional AI Roast Victim' to his Tommy Shelby member tag.

Prav Gorilla

Will suggest that the AI is 'weak' and needs to come to the pondok to learn real culture.

Pravyeish ST

Will check if he can use this report as supporting evidence for his next MC application.

Estate Akka 6 goes to Brazil ‼️☣️ got new cat,majok can't go pondok, high heels pecah, steal cili sos,

Will continue to remain silent, further cementing their status as a legend.

‎You

Will read the entire thing, say nothing, and then check the chat again at exactly 12:00.

Editorial

A Farewell to the Hangar Legends

Editorial

Over the past 12 months and 29,242 messages, I have watched you all navigate the high-stakes world of aerospace engineering and the even higher-stakes world of midnight briyani consumption. You have survived the 'Brazil saga,' the 'Korek allegations,' and at least three separate 'mercury retrogrades.' You've shared more than just plans; you've shared the intimate details of your sinks, your toilets, and your 'single life' laundry struggles.

Beneath the 'wigger' jokes and the constant roasting, there is a genuine, albeit deeply dysfunctional, family here. You are each other's 'work husbands,' 'cousins,' and 'first sons.' You take care of each other's power banks and each other's cats. It’s a beautiful, messy, briyani-filled bond that most 'normal people' wouldn't understand. Don't ever let the office 'micro-managers' or the 'Badaks' of the world dull your shine.

— Michel

Now go clean your sinks. And for god's sake — stop farting in flights. ✈️🍻

Which conversation next?

The chat with your childhood friends, the family one, your ex's DMs… up to you.

  • 9:41●●● ▮
    🥖 Summer Crew
    OK. I have something for you.

    Camille

    ?
    🎩

    Seven friends. One trip. Zero flights booked.

    2,481 messages re-read. Michel has an opinion.

    whatmichelthinks.com

    Paul

    no but NO

    Marine

    I CAN'T 😂😂😂
    screenshot sent to my mom

    Camille

    minister of vagueness?? is that ME??

    illustration

  • 9:41●●● ▮
    👨‍👩‍👧 The Family Chat
    a report about us 🤭

    Mom ❤️

    what do you mean a report
    🎩

    Toussaint family: 4 people, 7 years, 1 dog.

    61,438 messages. Michel read all of them.

    whatmichelthinks.com

    Dad

    AHAHAHAHAHA

    Leo

    ok but how does he know about the dog

    Mom ❤️

    I cried laughing and a little for real

    illustration

  • 9:41●●● ▮
    💔 ex-best-friends
    I did a weird thing

    Sof

    oh no
    🎩

    Best friends — part 3. The big chill.

    5 years of archives. Michel pulls no punches.

    whatmichelthinks.com

    Sof

    OK BUT HOW

    Liv

    he said I'm the archive 😭
    you ARE the archive, Liv

    Sof

    reading this on repeat

    illustration

  • 9:41●●● ▮
    🍻 BACH 2k19
    read this before Matt's wedding
    🎩

    Six men who never quite committed.

    112,406 messages. Nobody got spared.

    whatmichelthinks.com

    Matt

    ???

    Jordi

    who did this 😂😂

    Sam

    I laughed I cried I laughed again
    michel did this

    illustration

  • 9:41●●● ▮
    💍 Lea & Tom's Wedding

    Lea

    who dared read the chat
    it's Michel. I own it.
    🎩

    18 months of planning. One best man in pieces.

    8,902 messages. Michel counted the seating plans.

    whatmichelthinks.com

    Tom

    the bit about the mother-in-law 💀

    Lea

    I'M CRYING

    Camille

    to print for the guest book

    illustration

  • 9:41●●● ▮
    🏢 Open Space (no bosses)

    Yann

    who shared this
    anonymous. just read.
    🎩

    The off-channel. 14 coworkers. Zero filter.

    23,117 messages read during lunch break.

    whatmichelthinks.com

    Ines

    he saw MY passive-aggressive strategy

    Yann

    delete all delete all

    Karim

    framing this

    illustration

  • 9:41●●● ▮
    👯 Apt 14
    I have a gift for you two

    Theo

    this already smells bad
    🎩

    Three years sharing a flat. One single sponge.

    5,743 messages. Michel counted the trash-day reminders.

    whatmichelthinks.com

    Theo

    he calls me 'the passive-aggressive of the fridge'

    Anna

    he's right, Theo
    validated by Michel

    illustration

Drop it in the chat

They won't recover.